A New Chapter

It has been awhile since I have written anything here... Perhaps because I may forgotten that I have this blog space. Anyways I write now because I feel like I need an outlet. I am now completely done with treatment. It has been 7 months since I finished my last round of chemo. I am now living in Nashville to pursue a graduate degree. A Ph.D degree in fact. I start school in 2 weeks...I havent done school or been in a labratory setting in 3 years... I am scared to say the least. My class is full of people that have been researching non-stop. I am at a huge disadvantage and thats whats scares me the most. I am in Nashville alone with only my dog to remind me of home. I miss home. I miss Carlos. I feel like I was given a second chance at life. And with that chance I feel like I need to do something extraordinary with my life. Discover something that will make an impact. But I find myself wondering how to go ahead with this new chapter. I have told one person about my diagnosis here, was not planning too but it came out like word diaherrea. I want to go ahead with this new chapter, have a fresh start in this new city. I just dont know how too... How to move on from cancer patient to fully recovered grad student...

Bald is Beautiful

It has been awhile.. Happy New Yr! yay for 2011 because 2010 sucked! it was a difficult and heartbreaking and but it also had some really good moments. so im gonna go with 2010 was difficult. Surgery and beginning a clinical trial that included radiation and chemo. oy. but i also had my graduation party that was so much fun/ vacation to DC with my wifey/ and had my one year anni with carlos. I have high hopes for 2011. My hair started falling out on New yrs eve. It was everywhere, when i scratched it came out in bulk. So my mom buzzed it off. Now my scar is on display for everyone to see. I cried alot in 2010, sometimes for very good reasons and sometimes for stupid reasons. i didnt cry so much when my hair started falling though. I knew it was coming, dr warned me but still...so now im rocking the bald look. Tomorrow is Carlos's 24th bday. I made him a box carrot cake and we are planning to go to the zoo. Im excited. something normal. I went to the support group yesterday and the biggest thing we discussed was taking things one day at a time. which is the name of my blog :) But its an interesting concept. I am guilty of always planning for the future. I am goal-oriented. How do I get to point b from a is something iv always planned for. but facing ur mortality puts things in perceptive. What is important in life all of the sudden takes first priorety.swry i cant spell... Thats where i am..

Survivor

Survivor... Its an interesting concept. I always considered myself a survivor of life. Always determined, always pushing foward, always picking up the pieces when life is determined to break me down. But yesterday survivor took a whole new meaning. The Sally's were able to raise over $1,000 dollars for the National Brain Tumor Walk. There were dozens of people supporting the cause.. it was so great to see. The survivors were given blue shirts instead of white and asked to take a picture together. The survivors were from all walks of life, age, ethnicity, diagnosis.. We had one thing in common. Battled or battling brain tumors. We were breathing, standing, walking while thousands have lost or are losing their fight with this disease.I felt truly lucky and blessed. :)

Sept 10, 2010

Today is my first post. I almost made it through the work day without feeling sick.. until 3.. all downhill from there. My mom had to come pick me up and take me home. Frustrated does not begin the cover how I feel. It is less than a month until my surgery.. its been a long year waiting. Overwhelmed basically sums up how i feel. For a person that relishes independence it is going to be tough to rely on other people. I have to "let other people take care of me"... A strange concept  :/ Tomorrow is the National Brain Tumor Walk and the Sally's have raised over $1,000. :) Im excited about tomorrow.